VIOLENCE comes in many forms and to stop the behaviour, people first need to understand that what they are doing is something that can be changed.
Lifeline Newcastle and Hunter is offering a Men’s Program to help those who are violent or abusive.
The program is for men who acknowledge what they are doing and want to change and show respect and be more caring of their family. The aim of the Men’s Program is to help men understand that violence is a choice they are making and that they can do something about it.
For counsellor and training coordinator for the Hunter Valley Men’s Program, Brian Lamb, the definition of violence is very broad and includes physical, emotional and verbal abuse.
“This program offers a lot more than just anger management, because a lot of anger can come from frustration of not being able to express what it is that they are feeling,” he explained.
“It also isn’t about looking into the past and trying to find an underlying reason for the anger – it is about looking to the present and future and how to take responsibility for the choices the individual is making.
“If there is something in their past that is stopping them from taking that responsibility, we can work on personal counselling with them first.”
The Men’s Program is a safe group process that gives men the opportunity to see that what they are experiencing can be changed and that they are not alone. By being in a group setting men are able to confidently talk to others about what they are feeling or going through.
Partners and ex-partners are included in the program with the men agreeing that a counsellor contact them before they start.
“It can be very hard for a man to understand why he is being violent towards their partner or children when they have so much love for them,” explained Mr Lamb.
“By contacting the partners, counsellors are able to ensure they are safe and to monitor any changes as the men go through the program.
“We define a man’s abuse by what the partner is feeling, not by what the man is actually doing or has done.”
By keeping in contact with the partners Mr Lamb said it is also a way of educating them and helping them understand that what the men are going through and why they are doing what they are doing.
There are a number of themes that are covered in the group sessions including looking at what it means to be a respectful man and what their attitude is towards power and violence.
“A lot of men use violence as a form of control or power,” David Coren, project coordinator for Hunter Valley Men’s Program said.
“This program is about changing who they are to other people.
“We use various techniques and give the men tools with which they can use to help control their feelings.”
The process of the program will depend on what the needs of those involved.
“It is going to be uncomfortable for some of course, but that is why we have the intake interview to determine what the best service for them is,” Mr Lamb said.
“It may be that they will have better results by having personal counselling,” he said.
“Eventually they may be in a place where they can join the group sessions too.”
The Men’s Program will be operating out of the new Neighbour-hood Centre in Mary St when it opens at the end of August.
Meetings are proposed to be held on Wednesday evenings in Bishopgate Street at the Stables .
Anyone wanting to join the program is asked to call the Lifeline administration on 4940 2000 to set up an intake interview.
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