A range of factors mean grandparents, whether by choice or otherwise, are called upon to step in and assume the full-time responsibility of raising their grandchildren.

While uncommon, it’s a scenario that does occur.

Australian Bureau of Statistics data from 2009-10 shows there were 16,000 families in Australia where grandparents were the primary carer of children.

The sudden challenge often isn’t easy to cope with, and it’s why Wendy Love, a volunteer with the Samaritans, created the Grandparents as Parents (GAPS) group back in 2011.

While Wendy admits the group started slowly, and has seen people come and go, it retains a committed core of grandparents who meet at All Saints Anglican Church every Thursday afternoon.

“I had already been working with the Samaritans, and through our church we knew there was a number of grandparents with a need for this type of support,” she said.

“We’re not a big group but from that start we have had people come fairly regularly so it has just become a natural transition for us to have meetings on a weekly basis.”

As Wendy explained, the sudden lifestyle change often isn’t the only difficulty that grandparents have to deal with.

“You’ve often got the grieving on the part of the grandchild, but it usually also comes with the grieving associated with the breakdown of the relationship with your own children,” she said.

“And then if you’ve got other children, your relationship with those children and their grandchildren changes as the children you’re caring for is now treated different.”

Assistance can range from helping dealing with government bodies including Centrelink and Medicare, to more serious matters such as the Family Court.

The group also workshops about modern-day issues that grandparents mightn’t have had to deal with as a parent, such as cyber-bullying.

But sometimes the benefits can be as simple as having someone there to listen.

For Gina*, who has been part of the group since the beginning, it can sometimes just be a matter of speaking with other like-minded carers.

“If you’re a grandparent, you’re in a different sphere to a parent in their 20s and 30s, so this is a good opportunity to talk to grandparents who are in the same boat,” she said.

“Rather than re-inventing the wheel we’re able to talk about any issues that any of us are facing, and sometimes it just helps to be able to have a whinge about certain things.

“I guess we’ve got to become quite good friends - initially we came together not really knowing each other but now, knowing some of the struggles each other has gone through, we’re quite close.” 

Outside of the meetings, which are held in school hours to allow more carers to attend, there are often other activities, including barbecues, day trips and weekends away to Myuna Bay.

While mainly designed to give grandparents that help the activities often are also beneficial for the grandchildren, Gina said.

“The kids see that other children are being brought up by their grandparents and that they’re not alone,” she said.

“The grandchildren often struggle with it, particularly at school when their friends have mothers and fathers, so the opportunity to get together can be a really good thing for them.”

There are also week-long camps in Collaroy, Sydney that organised by Connecting Carers and the Salvation Army that gives carers a much-needed respite.

The majority who seek out GAPS for help usually keep coming back, and can’t speak highly enough of the support they receive from both Wendy and each other.

But Wendy knows there are other grandparent carers in the area who might find the group helpful, and she said it’s an ongoing challenge to try and help as many people as possible.

“We try and get the information out as much as possible, but at the end of the day the core group is here and you can’t judge success by numbers,” she said.

“But we know there are others out there - some who haven’t heard of GAPS, and others that might just not know what we do.

“It’s just that we’re here, really - if they need support or information this is somewhere they can come to for help.

* Name changed for privacy